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January 11, 2006

Harassment Is Unacceptable

One of the most difficult aspects of this profession, as I have mentioned before, is the interpersonal aspect of our job. Setting boundaries for people whose own boundaries are not clear is a difficult task. Feelings can get hurt and sometimes we can lose a client when we have to maintain appropriate boundaries.

A colleague of mine had to deal with the other side of boundary enforcement: harassment. My response to their situation included the following e-mail:
Put yourself in their shoes. This is intimate work to many people--wouldn't you want to know who you're dealing with? However, there is no reason I can think of that they should be asking personal questions about your family and living arrangements. So, I think you were right to cancel. Sadly, there are a lot of lonely, needy people in this world with fuzzy boundaries--they're the ones most likely to violate your boundaries. Massage therapists are caring people by nature and some people can mistake that as more than it is. If you're like me, it's hard to say "no" and disappoint people but you need to trust your instincts for your own safety.

This therapist's client continued to call many times a day leaving messages that became manipulative and threatening. They finally had to go to the police with the problem. Once the police got involved the phone calls stopped, but I still feel concerned for their safety.

Posted by linda at January 11, 2006 7:52 AM