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May 29, 2020
Sidura Ludwig's Playlist for Her Story Collection "You Are Not What We Expected"
In the Book Notes series, authors create and discuss a music playlist that relates in some way to their recently published book.
Previous contributors include Jesmyn Ward, Lauren Groff, Bret Easton Ellis, Celeste Ng, T.C. Boyle, Dana Spiotta, Amy Bloom, Aimee Bender, Roxane Gay, and many others.
Sidura Ludwig's linked story collection You Are Not What We Expected builds a lyrical and moving world, and comes together like a novel.
Jami Attenberg wrote of the book:
"A gorgeous, highly visceral, deeply felt collection of linked stories about how families work — and don’t work — together. The Levine family is unforgettable."
In her own words, here is Sidura Ludwig's Book Notes music playlist for her memoir You Are Not What We Expected:
This is an interesting challenge for me, because I wrote You Are Not What We Expected in complete silence (with only the fan from my register booster under my desk as background noise). I decided to think of songs that would go with some of the stories in the collection, be them songs my characters might have been listening to, or that would have resonated with the characters during this period in their lives.
“The Only Living Boy in New York” (Simon and Garfunkel) for “The Flag”
There’s a longing in this song, a sense of standing alone and not being seen. In “The Flag” Isaac desperately wants to be heard, and instead feels ignored. He cannot understand why no one else is upset by the international transgression he spots. And why no one will jump to action when he points it out. He feels like he exists in a different world to the rest of his neighbourhood. So, he is The Only Living Man in Thornhill.
“Gangnam Style” (PSY) for “Pufferman”
This story takes place in the summer, with two pivotal scenes in Puffer’s backyard pool. I imagine “Gangnam Style” on repeat as Puffer cannonballs himself into the water, as he annoys his nanny, as he plays on his own with no one to share his antics with. This song screams exhibitionism. I see Puffer knowing all the dance moves, practicing them in the water and laughing at himself, but really wishing he had an audience.
“YeHye Tov” (David Broza) “You Are Not What We Expected”
The chorus of this song means, “It will get better.” The main character in this story, Rina, finds herself at a crossroads in her life, panicked that things will never improve. One of her constants is her older sister who lives in Israel, texting her advice and support. This is a song she might have sent over to give Rina hope and the strength to step out.
“Jar of Hearts” (Christina Perri) for “Escape Routes”
Whenever I hear this song, I feel the space Perri is exploring of wanting and not wanting the person who has broken your heart. Ava and Adam spend their life existing in this space wanting and not wanting their mother to return. In this story, Ava’s best friend ends up moving away and so she’s once again faced with losing someone she’s trusts. “Jar of Hearts” is the kind of song that would be played in the background were this story a short film as we watch Ava cycling around the neighbourhood.
“Fly Me To The Moon” (Frank Sinatra) for “Like Landing the Gimli Glider”
If you were to ask Isaac to name the greatest singer of all time, he would say Frank Sinatra. He would tell you that no one from today comes close to delivering a song the way Frank Sinatra did. Certainly not Lady Gaga nor Katy Perry. Nor somebody named Pink. Isaac would be absolute in his devotion to Sinatra, who he might even refer to as his musical hero. When Isaac helps Ava rescue Cookie, the dog, he is channeling Sinatra’s confidence and the hope that he could be the one to make Ava feel like she could fly to the moon.
“Marry You” (Bruno Mars) for “Greatest Love Story Never Told”
There is a scene in this story where the Jessie and Ava are sitting on the floor, mapping out their version of Jessie’s grandparents’ story. The more they imagine the details, the more romantic it seems to them. “Marry You” represents the giddiness of love, the in-the-moment, nothing-else-matters feeling of grabbing that one person and never letting go. For different reasons, this is how both girls need to romanticize that story, even if they are blowing it out of proportion.
“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” (Barenaked Ladies ft Sarah McLachlan) for “Keeping Ghosts Warm”
This is possibly the only story in the book to reference a song. In the first scene, Shula is waiting for her father at a downtown Chinese restaurant. This song is playing over the radio. I have always loved this Christmas carol for the harmonies, and I particularly love this version. Later in the story, Shula is in her car and singing along to Christmas carols, leaving out the words “Jesus Christ”. Shula would only listen to Christmas carols when she is alone in her car, and I imagine this is the song for which she waits to sing along.
“Home” (Philip Philips) for “The Last Man Standing”
When Philips sings, “Know you’re not alone/I’m gonna make this place your home,” it’s more than a promise. He is both offering devotion but also challenging himself to commitment. Adam would have been that person for his grandmother, for his sister, but he couldn’t get past his anger. He is also a young man for whom “home” was an insecure concept. In Adam’s ideal life, he both makes a place home for the people he loves, and is offered the same security in return.
“You Can Call Me Al” (Paul Simon) for “The Happiest Man on Sunset Strip”
In this last story, Isaac is trapped by his aging body, but not by his mind. In his mind, he is still the man walking down the street, wondering at the strange world. This verse represents how I picture Isaac’s character throughout the book:
A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the third world
Maybe it's his first time around
Doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
Isaac will always be a foreign man, wherever he is. He speaks his own language and exists in the world on his own terms. Even after suffering a stroke, he still finds ways with Ava to break the rules and share a moment in which, once again, he is in complete control.
Sidura Ludwig is the author of the widely successful novel Holding My Breath. Her short fiction has been published in numerous literary journals and anthologies. She works as a communications specialist and creative writing teacher, and her creative nonfiction has appeared in several newspapers and on CBC Radio. She is currently working on her M.F.A. in Writing for Children and Young Adults through the Vermont College of Fine Arts. Originally from Winnipeg, Manitoba, she now lives in Thornhill, Ontario, with her husband and three children.
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Book Notes (2015 - 2017) (authors create music playlists for their book)
Book Notes (2012 - 2014) (authors create music playlists for their book)
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