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November 17, 2022
Will Betke-Brunswick's Playlist for Their Graphic Memoir "A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings"
In the Book Notes series, authors create and discuss a music playlist that relates in some way to their recently published book.
Previous contributors include Jesmyn Ward, Lauren Groff, Bret Easton Ellis, Celeste Ng, T.C. Boyle, Dana Spiotta, Amy Bloom, Aimee Bender, Roxane Gay, and many others.
Will Betke-Brunswick's graphic memoir A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings is a poignant and endearing exploration of love and family.
Kirkus wrote of the book:
"Heartwarming. . . . This sensitive, humorous memoir is as much a celebration of difference as it is of the healing and enduring power of family love."
In their own words, here is Will Betke-Brunswick's Book Notes music playlist for their graphic memoir A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings:
The playlist for A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings alternates from pop songs I was listening to in 2009, when my mom was dying, and the music I listened to growing up. The playlist mirrors the book, which begins with my mom's diagnosis and ends with her death, weaving in flashbacks from growing up in the '90s. While there are only two songs explicitly referenced in the book, Savage Garden's "I Knew I Loved You" and Ye's "Stronger", there are other moments where I am listening to headphones or there is music playing in the background. This playlist provides a window to that layer of the book, as what I was listening to impacted and reflected my emotions.
“I Knew I Loved You” Savage Garden (1999)
Page 4
The book starts with my mom telling me this song is about us. It was the first time I had an “our song” with someone I loved. The radio station that I am listening to on this page is KISS 95.7, which I thought was KIDS 95.7. In the book, I included the title, but would have included more lyrics of us singing the chorus together. “Our Song” is the first story I wrote for this book, and this song sets up our relationship and the late nineties flashbacks.
“Smooth” Santana ft. Rob Thomas (1999)
Page 7
My parents took swing, cha-cha, and rumba dance lessons. No one in my family was a good musician or dancer, but we all danced around the kitchen with music playing from a CD player that I won selling wrapping paper for my school. We listened to tapes on our tape player in the living room, and CDs in the kitchen and car. “Smooth” is the song playing in the background here.
“Can’t Go Back Now” The Weepies (2008)
Page 13
I’m wearing headphones on the plane, and listening to this song on repeat. It was on a CD mix that I had called “Good Songs for Hard Times.” I listened to this mix a lot during the ten months my mom was sick, clinging to my red CD Walkman.
“Crazy Love” Van Morrison (1970)
Page 34
I was going through a short 70s music phase during my sophomore year in college, and my parents were thrilled. They thought it was funny that my mixes included their music. And I love love songs that make me think of my mom. Writing notes for picture day was a “take away my heartache” moment.
“Guy Named Joe” Coyote Grace (2006)
Page 42
I didn’t draw this specific car ride from the airport to the hospital in the book. But I remember it. My friend picked me up and I played this song for her saying, “Listen to this!” Gender feelings. I even wrote Coyote Grace a letter about how much their music meant to me when my mom was sick.
“Shady Grove” Crooked Still (2004)
Page 51
My mom and Marci are listening to this song. Our very musical friends, the O’Donovans, gave my mom this ipod and loaded it with music. Their daughter, Aoife, was the singer of Crooked Still. We listened to Crooked Still on the ipod and anytime they came to perform in Northampton. The O’Donovans sang and played music at my mom’s memorial service.
“I Feel the Earth Move” Carole King (1971)
Page 53
I thought Carole King’s name was Carole King Tapestry because that CD was always on the kitchen counter. This song just makes me think of my mom. Maybe it’s the most her song of this mix.
“Stronger” Ye (2007)
Page 68
Just to be clear, this is the song that my mom and I are listening to, not the Kelly Clarkson song. I can’t remember what mix I had that it was on.
“This Shirt” Mary Chapin Carpenter (1989)
Page 84
When I was in preschool I only wore one dress, with a big cat on it. My mom would wash it for me at night. My family referred to it as the “Ratty Old Cat Dress.” Then in first grade, it was a red and blue tie dye shirt, and then a large navy shirt with a bear on hind legs in front of a full moon. My mom respected my very particular clothing choices. High school was a challenge, but we finally found some orange corduroy pants that worked for me.
“When I Was A Boy” Dar Williams (1993)
Page 103
My best friend (the vulture who occasionally pops up in the book) introduced me to Dar Williams. I listened to trans adjacent but totally cis music on my headphones while strangers audibly mused about my gender.
“Replay” Iyaz (2009)
Page 106
This song played at the frisbee party I am talking about. It was at every event that fall.
“When Fall Comes to New England” Cheryl Wheeler (1999)
Page 108
I am so glad my mom introduced me to some New England lesbian music. Cheryl Wheeler also lives in Massachusetts, so her songs “When Fall Comes to New England” and “His Hometown” were my favorites. My mom’s drawing of fall leaves has Cheryl Wheeler vibes.
“Baby Can I Hold You” Tracy Chapman (1988)
Page 123
My dad introduced me to Tracy Chapman. Thank you, PJ.
“Loving the Highway Man” Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt (1999
Page 132
My mom shared all her stuff with me and my sister. We would borrow her jackets and colored pencils and sunglasses. Everything except her copy of this CD. I wasn’t allowed to touch it or take it out of its case, because she knew it would end up scratched and put back in a different case. I could, however, say “Damned!!!” as loudly as I wanted when singing along to this song.
“You Are So Beautiful” Joe Cocker (1974)
Page 143
My dad sang this song to my mom the week she died. Then, the evening she died I walked into the back room of our house and he was playing it on YouTube and crying.
“O-o-h Child” Nina Simone (1971)
Page 156
My dad sent me an email two months after she died. He said, “One of mom and my favorite albums, back in the day, was vocalist Nina Simone. She had a song that began, ‘Ooh ooh, child, things are gonna get easier....’ Probably readily findable. I think you'd like her stuff.”
Will Betke-Brunswick is a cartoonist and a recent graduate of the California College of the Arts MFA in Comics program. Will's work has appeared in the new print edition of Trans Bodies, Trans Selves; How to Wait: An Anthology of Transition; and the websites INTO and Autostraddle. A former high school math teacher, Will lives in Boulder, Colorado.
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