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April 16, 2021
Brittney Morris's Playlist for Her Novel "The Cost of Knowing"
In the Book Notes series, authors create and discuss a music playlist that relates in some way to their recently published book.
Previous contributors include Jesmyn Ward, Lauren Groff, Bret Easton Ellis, Celeste Ng, T.C. Boyle, Dana Spiotta, Amy Bloom, Aimee Bender, Roxane Gay, and many others.
Brittney Morris's The Cost of Knowing is a moving and timely young adult novel.
Kirkus wrote of the book:
"This portrait of Black boys as sensitive, vulnerable, and complex is refreshing, unfolding within a powerful and provocative narrative about brotherly love and the insidiousness of racism. Morris seamlessly and beautifully weaves together multiple plotlines (including frank talk about sex) with crisp and sometimes humorous dialogue that always rings true. A timely, poignant page-turner about grief, love, and facing your fears."
In her words, here is Brittney Morris's Book Notes music playlist for her novel The Cost of Knowing:
Silence - Marshmello, Khalid
I chose this song to kick off the playlist for The Cost of Knowing because in it, Khalid sings about being a lover rather than a fighter, which sums up Alex fairly well. That line is also a counterpoint to the concept that to be a man one must be a fighter, or at least prepared to fight to defend those they love. Being that strong all the time is not only impossible, but dangerous. The line “can’t tell me there’s no point in trying. I’m at one, and I’ve been quiet for too long” could easily refer to Alex feeling like he’s been bottled up about his feelings, specifically about his anxiety, and how despite how futile his visions make his future seem, he still believes deep down that there’s always a reason to keep going.
I Am King - Ray Hodge
“King” is a prominent word in The Cost of Knowing, meaning several things. So this song easily fits into this playlist. “For all I am, for all I’m feeling, I will be true and I will seek. Gave away my pain and all the chains, ‘cause I’m no slave—yeah—for I am king.” This book goes back to the ancestral plane. Alex and Isaiah both delve deep into their family’s history, all the way back to the days of slavery. “My ancestors tell me so, my blood it tells me so, my being it tells me so."
Warning Sign - CADE
Alex’s visions of the future, which happen whenever he touches anything with the palms of his hands, could seem like warning signs to those around him, but they’re far from appreciated. Anxiety can often feel like flashing emergency lights all around you, keeping you hyper-aware of danger that may or may not be present. “Talking till the morning light, sure we’ve never felt so light, wondering when the Hell will rise, waiting for a warning sign.” In the book, Alex sees a vision of his girlfriend, Talia, possibly breaking up with him in the near future, so he questions whether it’s worth it to get close to her, if it’s all going to end soon anyway.
The Middle - Zedd, Karen Morris, Grey
“Why don’t you just meet me in the middle?” - In my mind this would be a song that Talia might sing to Alex to get him to meet her emotionally and connect with her. She spends a chunk of the book inviting Alex to share his deepest feelings and needs with her.
The Future (with James Vincent McMorrow) - James Vincent McMorrow, San Holo
“I think too much when I think about the future.” - The last four years of Alex’s life summed up in a single line, repeated over a dozen times. It’s also got a haunting melody, and since Alex’s visions appear a bit hazy in his mind, it just felt like the perfect song.
DNA - Kendrick Lamar
A classic. “I got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA” - This harkens back to the word “king” and Alex and Isaiah going back in their family’s history, to a time when they were possibly royals in their home country. “Got war and peace inside my DNA. I got power, poison, pain and joy inside my DNA. I got hustle though, ambition, flow inside my DNA.” Men contain multitudes, not just society’s expectations of them. Also, Kendrick is my favorite. I wrote the book’s climax while listening to this, and my heart was racing so fast it felt like it was going to jump out my throat.
Scars - My Brothers And I
“They say time heals all wounds. I don’t agree.” This song is a lamentation with aching vocals and vibrato that could be mistaken for a teary delivery. Lots of people in this country approach racism with a Laissez-faire attitude like it’ll resolve itself. But in The Cost of Knowing, the racism among Alex’s neighbors runs deep. One of them is “trying to protect the kids in the neighborhood” by petitioning the local HOA to require background checks for all paying house guests before they’re allowed to stay there. That kind of cognitive dissonance has to be rooted out, not with time, but with some serious elbow grease. And another line: “A kid afraid of the dark, of what he can’t see. Somebody scared of the light, now that’s a tragedy.” Black kids have to be on high alert in all-white spaces all day long. How are you supposed to be a kid while having to deal with that?
Stand by Me - Ben E. King
I included this song to represent Alex and Isaiah’s bond over the course of the book. They go from being emotionally distant at the beginning to learning to grow close. There’s a particular moment at night in the book that can be summed up perfectly with the opening lines: “When the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we’ll see, no I won’t be afraid, oh I won’t be afraid, just as long as you stand, stand by me.” I also felt this playlist needed a happy song!
Familiar - San Scout
If The Cost of Knowing were a movie, I’d want these to play at the closing credits. The tune just sounds so haunting and deep. “I owe it to the place that I’m from. Home.” This could also be taken as Alex having his ancestors to thank for where he is today.
Brittney Morris is the author of SLAY and The Cost of Knowing. She is also the founder and former president of the Boston University Creative Writing Club. She holds a BA in economics. You can find her online at AuthorBrittneyMorris.com and on Twitter or Instagram @BrittneyMMorris.
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